Why is there never enough time for ambivalence. Particularly the severe sort of ambivalence that nurtures procrastination, makes every helpful suggestion seem wrong, finds company annoying, and raises the perceived stakes of anything that requires more commitment than deciding to brush your teeth. Isn't it bad enough to know that the boat will sail without you?
At times like these, I seek comfort in science. Those laws and those tidy formal notations are very reassuring. Hmmm...so that's how it is. After all, eveything 'can't just be you.'
Take for example Janet's Law of Perceived time. In a nutshell Janet explains that our sense of time changes in proportion to our time on the planet. The concept is illustrated beautifully on the Time Flies website. With no more effort than it takes to press the 'down' key, I now understand why I suffer. Highly recommended.
However, if you happen to be one of those fortunate souls with a high-degree of self-mastery and can resist the impulse to waste time on the net, (which I know to be very unlikely because otherwise you would not be reading this), here's a quick illustration of Janet's theory.
At five years old, an hour is 2-thousandths of a percent of your entire life. At 65, an hour is 2-ten-thousandths of your entire life. Now if you think of this proportion in the human-equivalent of dog hours the impact is clear. When you were 5, you experienced reruns of "I Love Lucy" in 30 minutes. But when you are 65, that same episode passes as fast as a non-TIVO commercial break. To put it another way, a 65 year old can experience a full season of 13 episodes in the perceived time it takes a 5-ear old to experience just one. Is it any wonder that it's suddenly April?
Personally, this strikes me as profoundly important. So rather spend time focusing on what I need to do to actually hike the the John Muir Trail, I have developed the following corollaries to Janet's theory:
- Time cost more over time.
- There's less time than there was before.
- There's no time return policy.
- Dogs don't know this, which is why we like them.
"You should just get on with it. Your mind's made up anyway." That's what she said just before leaving for work. She's right, as usual.
Having made the bed and wiped up all the coffee rings, I am at a loss for a source of mindless procrastination. I hoist my training pack and head out the door for the usual 7-miler.
On the next block over, I see an unfamiliar neighbor quizzing his sons about their plans before they drive off for school in their old Accord. They turn to watch as I approach.
"Good morning," beams the neighbor. "Osprey Aether 70, right?"
I stop and nod. This guy knows his packs.
"What are you carrying?" he asks.
"Just cat litter. Bathroom rugs." I reply.
He smiles and nods. "I meant how much weight?"
"About 30."
The dad and sons trade knowing nods. "The boys are really into lightweight hiking," says the dad. "Their gear is almost all DIY."
"Very impressive," I say encouragingly, but inside I feel a pinch of spite.
"We hiked the JMT last summer. It was awesome," says one of the boys.
"We did it in 15 days," says the other.
"Can't wait to do it again." adds the first.
"We'll see who does what after we know who's going where," the dad says sternly.
The boys mumble a few words of mock contempt and we watch them drive off to school.
"Great kids," I say.
"Yea," he sighs. "They have no clue."
| It's a start |
But for the last three hours I have been pouring over my equipment list. I have re-weighed every item. I am too heavy. I have too much crap. Do I really need a back up flashlight? Do I need all that dental floss? My head hurts. I hate the choices imposed by the light-weight mandate.
Then it strikes me. My beloved Osprey sitting there at the top of the list at a whopping 74 ounces. 74 ounces!! Then, like lightening, it strikes me: I have money. I should buy one of those fancy ULA or Gossamer Gear packs.
I check the blogs. I discover two important things: 1) everyone loves their pack and 2)everyone hates everyone else's pack. But now I feel empowered to decide. I make a spreadsheet: Go Lite Jam 50L, Osprey Exos 46, Osprey Exos 58, Osprey Atmos 50, Granite Gear Blaze 60, Granite Gear Crown 60, Gossamer Gear Mariposa, ULA AirX, ULA Circuit, Six Moon Fusion, REI Flash 62, Gregory Z40. I compare volumes, weights and price. I pace madly about the room I flip a coin. I purchase the Gossamer Gear Mariposa.
"I bought a pack today." I say to Lilalee
"Hey that's fantastic."
"It weighs only 27 ounces."
"Really? Is that good?"
"I hope so."